It's Official!

I have adopted!. I know my family and close friends were thinking I would come home with a baby. Well, it's official! I have found 2 boys whom I just adore. Meet Albert and Calvin. Look at me already through the diaper stage. Heck, I am almost through those teen years as well. Thank god….that was tough. :-)

When my 6 year old nephew recently asked me if I could have babies so that he can be friends with them, I am not sure that this is what he had in mind.

Let me tell you a little bit about Calvin. Albert will follow in another blog. I met him on my birthday as we were going to visit a boy on scholarship - Calvin was there to greet us as well. He was "living with Mara". I assumed it was her nephew. He was very charming, well dressed and just so polite to me. And he continued to be every time I saw him. Always so considerate and thoughtful. He seemed so put together, so when I sat down to ask him about his story, I was shocked that he had one with so much pain and tragedy. His mom died when he was 3 months old, his father committed suicide when he was 14, he was left with his abusive step-mother when finally his uncle agreed to pay for his schooling. He failed to pass his senior year MSCE - he said they family was quarreling with him weeks before the exam and he could not focus. His uncle kicked him out and told him to go back to the village. He was so devastated that after all of his hard work, he was in the same place he would be if he never attended school. So in Dec '09, he tried to commit suicide himself the same way his father died. Whoa…pretty intense. The craziest thing is you would have no idea this boy has been through and lost so much. There is nothing about him that can tell you any of this as he is always so kind and thoughtful and "happy".

He has worked his way into my heart and I do not see him leaving.

For those who cannot hear me talking in this, I am just talking about adopting them in my heart. Just to be clear. :-)

In these pictures, Albert is on your left, and Calvin is on your right.

HIV/AIDS Teen Group

I had another amazing day this weekend. On Saturday, we went to Kang'oma Village to start up a Teen Group focused on learning about and educating their peers on HIV/AIDS. Just to give you an idea of how into it these kids are, they had already picked the chairman, vice-chirman, and secretary and all the the dates to meet for the next 8 months before we left after initially talking to them about potentially having this group. We were not able to meet them on the first date they had picked, so they met without us. How adorable? Have you ever heard of teens being so eager to get together to discuss HIV/AIDS. I asked one of the boys what they did at the meeting and he said " we figured out with did not know anything about HIV/AIDS". I did not realize the depth of what he meant until we met the group. Most if not all of the kids in the group have been impacted by HIV/AIDS. They have lost a mother, father, both, or are living with someone who is infected. They have been first hand witnesses to the devastation that this disease can cause a person, a family and an entire community. I think that is why I was so shocked to hear from them that they did not know anything…..what is HIV/AIDS, how do you get did, how do you keep yourself from getting it, can you get married if you are positive, can you get it taking care of someone who is positive, is there anything that can even be done if you find out that you are positive? I was just blown away with how hungry these kids are for information, yet have none. Not to mention a lot of what they do hear, is all hearsay. Amazing. Truly amazing when you can visibly see the impact this disease has had on their community. I was so moved with how big of an impact this could have on them and on their community. Being educated on this disease can have such a big impact on reducing the rate of infection and reducing the death rate. This is the stuff that can make a difference. I feel so lucky to be able to be a part of this.

This is a picture of the Teen Group after we met.

Just hanging out a my place

I had such a fun day here today! It is Friday, and on Fridays, we "knock-off" at noon. I love it! I am going to try and bring this back to the states. It is so fun in the office because there are people constantly stopping by. I would say at least 15 people stop by in a day. It has really helped me to get to know people and see them frequently. After work, we went to my place and meet another friend there. It was so nice just to hang out. Just like with friends at home. I find it so funny how a sense of humor can be so universal. I am really enjoying this as I can totally be myself. We laugh a lot. I was also just sitting there taking note of the fact that where ever I go, I end up hanging out with a bunch of guys. I am not sure why this always happens, but I really enjoy it. It always makes for a good time.

Happy Friday!!!

Let's get down to the nitty gritty

It has been a few days since I last updated primarily because I could not bring myself to write about what I am seeing and hearing, but at the same time I could not avoid writing about it; it has been too much of my experience here.

I have been caught by surprise with how much I have been connected to, intrigued by, moved and impacted by are the kids in their teen years. They are old enough to know the tragedies they have gone through and the struggles they must face, but young enough to be needy of love, guidance, support, and to hope for a better future. They pretty much represent everything that touches near and dear to my heart. I have struggled to write about this part of my experience because the stories sound so trite and trivial when I put pen to paper. I have not even been able to write about some of this stuff in my journal yet.

How do you even begin to understand what a child must be going through who lost both parents last year, goes to school most days hungry, oh yeah, without books and when I asked why he failed to pass last year… because you know…"the funerals". And it is just story after story of this. I have met with most kids on scholarship at this point and it has been almost too much to process. I cannot even understand what all of this must be like to go through for each kid, let alone write about it.

The more I ask them, the worse it gets. How old were you when your father died? and your mother? who do you live with now? does your Aunt breaking rocks make enough money to support you and your 4 other siblings? do you have anything to eat? how many days a week would you say you go to school hungry? when was the last time your saw your sisters? and how are you studying without any books?

oh, you walk 3 hours to school when some teachers do not show up, ok, so you cannot study because you cannot afford the candle needed to study after you do all the housework in a home with no electricity, oh ok….so you are 18, never went past the first grade because you had to stay home and take care of your dying mother….ok, and then you you took care of and watch your father die….and now you are….ok….taking care of your 5 siblings as you are the first born. Without an education or hope for one.

Some of these meetings I go through without letting too much in, but most of the time, I cannot stop that. And there are times where just one of the things one of the kids says is just too much for me to handle. And then I get more upset thinking about how I am crying just listening to what they are going through….how do they even feel or go on living through it.

Wow….this is the first time I have really let myself cry cry since I have been here. Good thing I am in a nice and busy hotel lobby. Sweet. Just another day.

My Hut

Contrary to what most people might think, I am not living in a hut. At the risk of losing some credibility, I am posting some pictures of where I am staying. :-) I even have a tv, which only carries CNN and the Hallmark channel. I have never been more up on current events.

Just waiting to see Tiger....I am just hoping they are carrying him on CNN. I am craving a good scandal here. I need something a little more mindless. I am pretty bummed about the Olympics as it looks like they do not have any rights to any of the video. I am catching the Olympics in still shots. It just doesn't have the same impact. :-)

Doreen

So it would not be entirely true to say that I am making ALL babies cry here. It is only sometimes. :-) We visited one of the Orphan Care Centers on my birthday and when we pulled up there were 2 kids there - the others must have been in school. One of them just happened to be the one who I dubbed "the cutest girl in Malawi" the first time I met her - her name is Doreen. This was the second time meeting her and I was psyched that she was there. When I got out of the car she came walking up to me, arms stretched out wide for me to pick her up. I kept telling her how cute she was and she was just smiling so big and laughing at everything I was saying. It dawned on me that she had no idea what I was saying. I found it interesting how praise, love and attention sometimes have nothing at all to do with what you actually say. It is how it is said.

I carried her into the meeting with the director and he said…"oh…she is better" and I asked if she had been sick. He looked at me funny and I said "oh…she is scared of white people". I was so touched and honored that she had changed her view when only meeting her one time before.

Thanks to my most favorite little people in this world, my nephews, I came with a box full of children's books to give out. I had not given any out yet as where you find one kid you find fifty and I don't have that many books. So I was so excited to be able to give her and another little boy two books from my nephews - Nemo and Monsters Inc.. Who doesn't love those?! Right after I gave it to them, they sat on the wall and just flipped through the books staring at each page. I loved watching it. I have seen enough here and spent a lot of my leisure time reading autobiographies of kids growing up in Africa to know how coveted a book is. Something so hard for us to understand. Add that to the list.

Just making people happy here….one baby at a time

This is just one of the reactions from the babies in the village. The baby was sitting pleasantly on the ground when I came up and he burst into tears and begged another little girl to pick him up. Not really used to white people around I guess. A few moments later I was coming around the corner of a hut and I "bumped" into another little baby walking. I would have scared anyone, but this kid freaked out! I mean freaked out!!! I have never seen such terror in someones face before. Like he had just run into a ghost. (save yourself the time on making a comment on this….I can already hear them) It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I just wish I had it on video. Come to think of it, I would have been an America's Funniest Videos winner no doubt. Maybe I will just start popping out of nowhere and film little kids reactions. Classic. Wait, I might be onto something here……seriously.