My new project

Currently I am working on a proposal to start a HIV+ Teen Group. Meeting with the kids, writing the proposal, researching how to run an effective and productive teen group for positive kids. This has been a very eye-opening and emotionally draining experience to be honest with you. I sat down with 5 kids last week to talk to them about who they are, their lives, when they found out they were positive and what their dreams and aspirations are. One of the kids is a lot tinier than he should be. He is about the size of my 5 year old nephew but twice his age. As he sat in the oversized chair, swinging his legs around as they were not even close to touching the ground, smiling like he just won an award, I found it so hard to ask any question related to him being HIV positive. As I would ask, I would stop myself, look at the translator and say "wait…you are sure he knows he is positive"? I found it very hard to even mention the word HIV. I stumbled around these questions, thinking how "unfair" this all is, wondering how he could even understand what he is up against. One thing I do know is that none of these kids knew anyone else who was positive. That was a killer too. How are these kids going through this without having someone else to relate to or understand what they are going through?

As we were driving home, all I could think of was "there is no way I can leave here anytime soon". How could I leave here after meeting these kids, who now have names and the cutest faces, and realizing how much they need a group like this and how much I would like to be a part of starting it for them.